by Joanne Gilchrist, writer of God for Kids app

How do you react when you hear about personality profiles? My husband can’t stand to be labelled and put in a box but personally, I have seen the transformation of a team or family when people realise “Not everyone is the same as me”. Suddenly grace and understanding replace judgement and frustration. There can be unity, teamwork, progress.

Whether it be Myers Briggs, DiSC, Insights, Ennegram or even Chapman’s love languages… they’ve all helped people not only understand themselves but understand that others are not trying to be difficult, or wrong, or stupid, they’re just wired differently.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that we might also have spiritual styles – a preferred way not just to worship but connect with God in the every day. What do you think about that idea?

Over the years, I’ve come across several anecdotal versions of ‘spiritual styles’ but last year, while writing Next Steps to Following Jesus with Shell Perris, I stumbled across David M. Csinos’s academic research while listening to Ronni Lamont on UCB Radio. I was intrigued because Shell and I had decided to add different ‘pathways’ for children to respond to the Bible text, based on different personalities or learning styles.

I was amazed to find that our experience as mums matched up so well with the academic research! The truly incredible thing is that all the research is based on children. I love that: adults learning from children! How refreshing.

So, what are the four Spiritual Styles? For a full explanation, read one of these two books:

Children’s Ministry that fits by David M. Csinos

Faith in Children by Ronni Lamont

Or, for my (very) brief summary on Word, Symbol, Action and Emotion centred approaches…

I imagine you can already see tensions which might arise between those with different spiritual styles…

If this is true, then in every family, there’s bound to be a variety of spiritual styles. If one child isn’t engaged with the way you do faith at home, you might be worried that they don’t believe, but what if they simply don’t connect with the style or method you’re using? Perhaps you could explore different styles?

Examples of Spiritual Styles in Children

For example, an ‘action’ child might be frustrated with the lack of impact they are making on the world but will struggle to put their frustration into words. They might appreciate an opportunity to volunteer, fundraise, write letters of petition etc. as a response to what they’re reading in the Bible.

An emotion child might get bored with a daily routine of word-based devotions but will want to laugh and dance if you turn the worship music up REALLY LOUD. They might come alive on a youth weekend away, Bible-based camp or church festival where they get to experience God.

A symbol child might be finding your style overwhelming and would prefer the peaceful presence of nature for their souls to feel alive. They might appreciate time to ponder over the unanswered question rather than be interrupted with answers.

A word child, however, WILL want answers and get frustrated if things seem illogical or too ‘touchy-feely’. They’ll appreciate fact finding and connecting the dots in the Bible to help them understand it in their minds.

Joyce Bellous, author of Educating Faith, Conversations that Change us, says that if parents and children’s workers don’t allow for all four spiritual styles, some children will always feel left out and “If they feel excluded, they may think there’s something wrong with them. Eventually, they may come to believe that there’s something wrong with God.”*

What’s the Biblical Foundation for Spiritual Styles?

As I was writing the book Next Steps to Following Jesus, I realised these spiritual styles can be found all throughout scripture but most importantly, in the greatest commandment:

“Love the Lord you God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength.” Mark 12:30

As I see it, Spiritual Styles is NOT about the importance of the Bible in worship, whether or not you raise your hands or the role of icons. I think God connects with us in all four ways and we can live out our faith in all four ways too. However, we will find that we have a natural preference for how that looks and will place value on some aspects over others - which is where we sometimes clash.

I used to think that starting every Sunday service with a prayer that invovled moving our arms and bodies was tedious… until I understood that it was part of my minister’s style and there’s nothing theologically wrong with it at all! It helped me respect and honour him, while recognising it wouldn’t be my preffered way to pray.

Words, Symbols, Emotions and Actions are all highly valued by God and there’s plenty of evidence for that in scripture, in the experiences of Christians throughout the ages, revealed to us through creation and represented by the multitude of charities and mission agencies all over the world.

What are your preferred spiritual styles?

Which of these four ways stand out to you as MOST important? Which one or two seems like a waste or time or just hard work?

What are your children’s spiritual styles?

Children don’t usually get to choose the church they grow up in or the family they are brought up by. This is why it’s important to try to provide a variety of methods for them to connect with God, even things that don’t come naturally to you. You can contact Ronni Lamont for official spiritual styles guidance and questionnaires.

By doing the activities in this book, I gained a little insight into my children by paying attention to which activities they chose to do. In this book, VERY BROADLY speaking:

• The Think Pathway is similar to Word style

• The Feel Pathway is similar to Symbol style

• The Get Active Pathway is similar to Action style

• The Create Pathway is similar to Emotion style

(This is not a replacement to learning about David M. Csinos research, which I heartily recommend you do if you’re a children’s worker in a church).

 Spiritual Styles Workshop

Please get in touch to find out about our ‘Faith in the Home’ interactive workshops that allow children and their grown-ups to explore, practical ways to nurture faith in the home.